Spazz Invasion
by AgentMarina
Summary: Just a fanfic I wanted to do. INVADER ZIM IS NOT MINE. So don't sue me or whatever. EES ONLY A FANFIC! Rae is not mine either. RAE BELONGS TO DIB412.  Btw, this is based off of a chat RP I did with a few friends over at good ol' IZFAS. GO VISIT IZFAS
1. Chapter 1: The New Girl

Spazz Invasion Chapter 1

I sighed as I looked at the pouring rain outside. New school, new life, new friends? This sucked. I blamed my grandma. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but honestly... She didn't have to make us move. See, my grandmother died recently. In her will, she stated that she wanted my mom and I to inherit her house, to make sure it didn't go to waste. She loved that house because my grandfather built it before he died. My mother wanted to fulfill Grandma's wish, because "she was being a good person." Anyways, that's not the point. The point was that I was not happy. "Mom, I don't wanna go to school today," I complained as I put on a polar bear hat... At least, I thought it was a polar bear hat. My mother sighed as she ran a brush through her light brown hair. She looked at me sympathetically with her emerald green eyes. "Marina, please... This will be fine! You'll make friends, and you'll have a great time. I promise."  
>My mom looked so different from me... I had short, wavy blond hair. Her hair was even shorter, and it was brown and curly. Her eyes were emerald green, while mine seemed like a combination of green and grey. My skin was pale, hers was lightly tanned. A lot of people couldn't believe I was her daughter. "I really hope you can keep that promise, Mom..." I muttered under my breath. My mom didn't seem to hear me, and she set the hairbrush on the table. She picked up a newspaper and began reading it. She cast a glance up at me. "You'd better hurry up and finish your breakfast, or you'll miss the bus," she told me. I sighed, ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and ran outside to catch the bus.<p>

I waited with an umbrella at the bus stop for about seven minutes before the bus arrived. The doors screeched open, and I walked inside. The bus was very crowded, and kids were talking so loud that I could barely hear myself think. I glanced around for somewhere to sit, and the only empty seat seemd to be beside a girl who didn't look much older than I was. The girl had blond hair that went a few inches below her shoulders. Her eyes had twinkling blue irises, and she was wearing the same hat as I was. Weird.  
>I slowly approached the girl, wondering what she would think about me. "Um, hi..." I said. "Is it alright if I sit with you?"<br>"Sure!" the girl replied cheerfully. "You're the new girl, right? Ms. Bitters said we were getting a new student."  
>"Yeah," I replied. "I'm Marina."<br>"I'm Rachel." Rachel smiled. "But you can call me Rae. I like that better, anyway."  
>"Alright then, Rae. So... I like your hat."<br>She didn't seem to have noticed I was wearing the same one until just now. She blinked, and looked at it. "You've got the same hat!" she mused.  
>I grinned. "This hat will rule the world."<br>"So it shall!"  
>Our conversation went on for a while like that, and it felt good to have made a friend. Everyone kept shooting us these weird looks though... It kinda creeped me out. Just then, the bus skidded to a halt, and everyone scrambled to get off of the bus. Rae led me to Ms. Bitters' classroom. -<br>Everyone took a seat, except for me. I didn't have one. I stood at the front of the classroom, feeling really awkward. An old lady (whom I assumed was Ms. Bitters) stood up at her desk. She creeped me out. As she began to speak, a shiver ran down my spine. "Class, despite my outrage, we have another bratty new student. Her name is Marina." Ms. Bitters looked at me. "Marina, if you would like to say something, I suggest you say it now, because after that I don't want to hear a single peep out of you!"  
>"Umm... Hi. As Ms. Bitters said, my name is Marina. I came from Missouri." I scanned the room, examining each student. My eyes stopped on a student who had green skin. Green skin...? How was that normal? I tried to continue the best that I could, but the green kid was distracting me. I forced myself to look away, and I saw Rae, who was giggling about something. "Um, well... I... I hope I can get to know you all better..."<br>"Marina, take a seat beside Zim," Ms. Bitters commanded, pointing at the green kid. I looked at the desk beside Zim, which was now empty. I could have sworn that someone had been sitting there only moments ago... That seemed to freak me out even more. I slowly took my seat, and class began. "Now, everyone open your horrible textbooks to the horrible page of 7,653. Today we are going to learn about how the society is just DOOMED."  
>We all opened our textbooks, and I scowled at the two pages. A single word took up each page. The word "SOCIETY" was written in large letters on page 7,653, while on 7,654 the word "DOOM" took up the entire page. What kind of book was this? Ms. Bitters began lecturing us all about doom, and something about the society, but I wasn't paying attention. I kept staring at the green boy... Why was he green? As I took a closer look, I realized he didn't have a nose or ears, either. I was a little afraid to ask why, but I summoned up all of my courage and began to speak to him. "Um, Zim?" I whispered.<br>Zim narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, worm-child?" he whispered.  
>Worm child...? "Erm... I was just wondering... why is your skin green? And where are your ears and nose?"<br>"IT'S A SKIN CONDITION! I'M NORMAL!" Zim yelled, standing on his desk. Ms. Bitters hissed, and dissipated into shadows.  
>'What kind of school is this?' I thought to myself. My teacher reappeared in front of Zim. "Zim, disrupt my class one more time, and you will have detention for a month!"<br>Zim sat back down and saluted. "Yes, Ms. Bitters." Ms. Bitters disappeared, and Zim shot a glare at me. "Stupid human," he muttered.

The bell finally rang after about an hour of lecturing about the society and doom. We were all dismissed to lunch. Rae was waiting for me at a table, and I sat down across the table from her. "Well..." I said, poking my corn and mayonaise with a fork. "This was certainly an odd day."  
>"Eh, you get used to it," Rae said.<br>"...It's like this all the time?"  
>"Yeah."<br>I glanced around the cafateria. There was another table that was almost empty. The only occupants were a kid with black scythe-like hair, glasses, and a huge head. The other occupant was a girl with purple hair, who was playing a Game Slave 2. "That dude's head is huge," I muttered.  
>"Yep! That's Dib," Rae informed me. "The girl is her sister, Gaz. She's scary."<br>I looked at another table. Zim was sitting alone by himself. He was holding a machine above his food, as if expirimenting on it... I had never seen technology like that before. My eyes widened. "What's he doing?"  
>"Who?" Rae asked. "Zim!" I pointed, and Rae turned around to look. Unfortunately, Zim had noticed people staring at him and shoved the device into his backpack. Why didn't he ever take it off?<br>"...Marina, what are you talking about?" Rae asked, looking confused. "He's not doing anything."  
>"But..." I sighed. "Never mind." But something was going on, and I intended to find out what it was.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: ALIEN?

I'll be honest- the thought of Zim being an alien never occurred to me until Dib came pestering Rae and I after Skool was over.

After Skool, the rain had stopped. Rae and I had decided to walk home together, because we lived in the same neighborhood. "So, which house is yours?" Rae asked me.  
>"Well, it's right over-" I started, but was interrupted.<br>"Hey!"  
>Rae and I whirled around, only to be met by Dib. "Heya, Dib!" Rae greeted cheerfully.<br>I was confused as to why he had approached us, and wanted to ask why, but all I said was, "Uh, hi."  
>Rae did a front handspring out of boredom, and then quickly returned her attention to Dib. "Whatcha doin'?"<br>"Listen, I've got to show you guys something! I can prove that Zim's an alien!" Dib said excitedly.  
>"An alien..." Rae mused. "Sounds neat!"<br>I scowled. This kid was crazy. "Aliens aren't real," I stated.  
>"That's what you think. Come on!" Dib urged. He grabbed my wrist with one of his hands, and Rae's wrist with the other. Rae didn't protest, but cast me a confused glance. Me? I was dragged against my will towards Zim's house. Dib kept muttering, "I'll MAKE them believe! Yeah, that's what I'll do. No more 'Dib's insane!' No, it's going to be different from now on..." Personally, that made me believe he was more insane than I thought. Dib released us as we arrived in Zim's yard. "Alright, watch this!" he told us. He walked over to gnomes. One seemed to have glowing red eyes... Actually, they ALL did. And then, the one nearest to Dib MOVED. It turned to face him, the beady red orbs in its eyes focusing on Dib. I gasped, amazed, while Rae stared, wide-eyed.<br>That's when lasers shot from the eyes of the gnome, and they hurtled towards Dib. (Luckily, Dib dodged the beam, though.) This seemed to alert the other gnomes of our precense, and then they all started firing at us. This didn't seem to surprise Dib, and he easily dodged each laser, and made it to the door. He opened it up (it was apparently unlocked) and motioned for Rae and I to follow. Rae took a moment to examine the situation, and she smiled. "This looks like fun!" She began doing numerous cheerleading moves to avoid the lasers, including cartwheels, front handsprings, back handsprings, and a lot of other things I didn't know the names of. She swiftly and easily made it to the door, and disappeared inside.  
>I wasn't as lucky. I wasn't a cheerleade like Rae, and I wasn't some sort of spy or whatever like Dib. I was just me.<br>As I ran across the lawn, screaming and flailing (I probably looked like a MAJOR idiot), the gnomes shot me multiple times with their stupid lasers. Each time they hit me I let out a yelp. It burned very badly, but at least it didn't kill me like in the movies. Nonetheless, I eventually made it to the door and stepped inside.  
>I was greeted by two robots, that looked to me like they were supposed to be 'parents.' "Welcome home, son!" they said in unison, before tthe one that looked like a mother started whacking herself with a spoon, while the one that resembled a father began running into the wall. Inside, Rae was staring at yet another robot. It was completely silver besides its eyes, shoulders, a spot on its back, and something that looked like a sheet of paper stuck to it's front. Everything previously mentioned was bright blue. The robot sat on the floor in front of a television, and blinked when it noticed us. "Hiiii!"<br>"See?" Dib said. "I told you!"  
>didn't respond; I was too busy trying to register exactly what was going on. Rae had a goofy grin on her face. "This is so..."<br>"Horrifying?" Dib offered. "COOL!" Rae exclaimed. "...It's not cool when an alien is trying to wipe out all humanity."  
>Suddenly, a booming voice echoed through the house.<br>"Warning: Something is happening upstairs!"  
>"That's his computer," Dib explained. "Zim will be up soon." "You bring the yummy TA-COS?" the robot asked as it squeezed a rubber piggy. The piggy sqeaked each time it was squeezed. The robot stuck his tongue out in a silly expression. "No," Rae told him. "But I think I have some at my house!"<br>"YAY!" the robot replied before returning his attention to the TV. "Great, what is it now?" I could hear Zim grumbling. His voice was coming fom... the trash can? This seemed so messed up.  
>"Hide!" Dib instructed us. Rae ducked behind the couch, and I ran behind a fake plant. Dib tried to hide with Rae, but she slapped his arm and shoved him out of the hiding place. Suddenly, Zim emerged from the trash can. At least, I think it was Zim. He looked like he did at Skool, but he didn't have hair. No, in place of hair were two black antenna. In Zim's hand was... a black bouffant wig. Suddenly, it all clicked. Zim's weird way of speaking, the green skin, the lack of certain features (such as ears and a nose), why he was so hateful to other humans... Zim really was an alien. "GIR, where are the intruders?" Zim inquired. "Tell ZIM!" "They went with the pizza man to go ride UNICORNS with leprauchauns!" GIR replied happily. 'What the heck...?' I thought, but I didn't dare say anything. Zim sighed, but acted as if this response was normal. "I know they're 's those two blond girls from Skool and the Dib-stink!"<br>How had he known There were probably cameras all over the place, I decided.  
>I felt something bump my arm, and I yelped quietly.<br>"Shh!" Dib said. I hadn't noticed him approach me, but I figured he didn't have anywhere else to hide.  
>'It's alright. Chill, Marina. It's just Dib,' I told myself. Suddenly, Zim whirled around to face the plant. His eyes narrowed when he spotted Dib and I. "YOU- hey, when did I get that plant?"<br>"Zim! Uh, we're not here!"  
>"Yes you are!"<br>"No we're not!"  
>"LIES!"<br>It was silent for a moment, but Rae quickly broke the silence as she poked her head out from her hiding place. "You're an alien? THAT'S SO COOL!"  
>I coudn't say anything. I was too busy freaking out. <p>


	3. Chapter 3: MUFFINS!

Zim turned, distracted by Rae. "Oh, there you are! STUPID, DISGUSTING, FILTHY HUMAN!"  
>While Zim was distracted, Dib ran over to Zim's toilet and... flushed himself down? What the heck was going on?<br>"...What's wrong with humans?" I demanded, suddenly having the courage to speak. "We're obviously more... um, awesome."  
>"Ehh... YOU ALL SMELL LIKE CORN!" Zim yelled. "And SILENCE! Irkens are far more superior than you, FILTH-BEAST!"<br>"How would you know that," Rae asked, "if you don't have a nose?"  
>"...I JUST DO! Because I am amazing..." Zim replied.<br>"...You sure do shout a lot," Rae said. While Rae was being a distraction, I decided to follow Dib. I stood over the toilet. 'I can't believe I'm doing this...' I thought as I flushed myself down. As I disappeared, I could hear Zim shouting, "Ehh? Where did the other humans go?" Then there were footsteps, but I couldn't hear anything until I appeared in a lab. The toilet had been some form of elevator, and I guessed that the trash can was as well. I looked around. There were all sorts of inventions and devices that I had never seen, or even imagined. This was... this was alien technology. Obviously...  
>"WATCHA DOIN'?" Rae asked loudly, tapping my shoulder. I hadn't noticed her follow me, and I jumped a little.<br>"Rae, don't do that..." I muttered.  
>Suddenly, there was a beeping noise, and some sort of glass bubble surrounded Rae and I. We were trapped. Just like animals. Rae instantly started freaking out. "RINA! MARINA, I'M CLAUSTRAPHOBIC! RINA!" She started banging on the bubble, but it had no effect. Across the room, Zim cackled evilly. "MWAHAHAHA! FOOLISH HUMANS! You've fallen right into my trap!" He must have taken the elevator in the trash can, I realized. I noticed Dib watching nearby. "Zim! Let them go! You can't expiriment on innocent people!"<br>"Watch me, Dib-human!" Zim said. He pressed a button on his remote, and a cage fell over Dib. He was now trapped as well. "Now, cringe in fear, as you watch your fellow humans be turned INSIDE OUT!"  
>"LEMME OUTTA HERE, ZIM!" Rae shrieked.<br>"This isn't funny, Zim!" I said. "We don't want to be turned inside out!"  
>"Oh, well okay then," Zim said. "WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!" He pressed another button on the remote. I suddenly felt like I was being stretched, and pulled. Kinda like Play-Dough. I would've screamed, but apparently my mouth was on the inside of my body now, and the insides were on the outside. I figured the same had happened for Rae, as well, but I couldn't see (because my eyeballs were on the inside).<br>"Marina! Rachel! NO!" Dib screamed. Zim cackled evilly. "Now, I will turn you into... PORK-COWS!" Zim announced. Pork-cow? What was that? I felt myself being stretched, and then squeezed together... and then almost as if I was shrinking. I had eyes and a mouth this time. I looked at Rae. "You... YOU'RE A MUFFIN!"  
>"You are too!" Rae exclaimed. Then we both started screaming our heads off.<br>"Zim, no! YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE INTO MUFFINS!" Dib yelled.  
>"Watch me, human!" Zim laughed, and attempted to press another button. Luckily, GIR had come downstairs, and was now tackling Zim. Zim dropped the remote, and it fell to the ground. "GIR, no! Stop that!"<br>"DO YOU KNOW DA MUFFIN MAN?" GIR asked in response. He fell off of Zim, accidentally stepping on the human button of the remote. Rae and I were stretched again, and than we were humans once more. Rae had had enough of this. "LET... US... OUT!" Rae shrieked. She began kicking at the glass. Each time she screamed, the bubble shook, and she basically blasted my eardrums. I noticed that the bubble was beginning to get cracks in it. Her screaming, along with attacking the glass... "Rae, keep screaming!" I urged. And Rae did continue screaming. I collapsed to the bottom of the bubble because my eardrums hurt so much, but Rae didn't seem to noticed. Dib was now covering his ears, and Zim was grabbing wildly under his wig for his antenna. "It HURTS!" With one final kick and shriek, the bubble shattered. Man, that chick was loud! "R-RAE... THAT WAS COOL!" I didn't really notice that I was shouting, because she had temporarily damaged my hearing.  
>"Um, thanks?" Rae said. "WHAT?" I shouted.<br>Rae frowned, and looked at Dib. "I'm going to try to unlock his cage..."  
>Zim growled. "D'ohh... GIR! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"<br>"...MONKEHS!" GIR threw a rubber piggy at Zim. Zim seemed distracted, so I ran up and tackled him, pinning him to the ground. "Gah! FILTH!" Zim exclaimed, pushing me off of him and standing up. He reached into his backpack (or what I thought was a regular backpack). What was he doing...? "I'll use the organ harvester..." he muttered, starting to grin wickedly. He pulled a device out and began walking towards me.  
>My hearing was beginning to go back to normal. "Organ harvester?" I demanded. "Who carries that around?"<br>"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Zim took another step forward, looking very insane. "Z-Zim... NO!" I let out a shriek, as he stole one of my most important organs: my lungs. I couldn't breathe. Everything burned, and I felt weak from having missing organs in the first place. He didn't replace them with anything, nope. Just left a big, empy gap where my lungs had been. "Marina!" Dib gasped. Rae turned around, and also gasped. I collapsed to the floor in a heap, helpless. Zim examined the lungs. "Yes, these could be useful if I ever get head pigeons again..." I could seriously feel myself dying, and it was not fun. It was not fun at all. I watched as Rae abruptly picked up the remote that had been used by Zim earlier. She ran over to me, and then aimed it at both of us, pressing a button. I couldn't tell which button she had pressed, but I supposed I was about to find out. There was a bright flash, and I felt myself shrinking slightly. The flash was blinding, so I had to close my eyes. When I opened them again, I felt... different. Like, humanoid-ish, but different. I didn't feel the need to breathe anymore. It was odd. I quickly looked at my reflection in a shard of broken glass. I gasped, and then felt angry-ish. "You... YOU IDIOT!" I had been transformed into an Irken! My skin was light green, I had curly antenna (that bent backwards), my eyes were light purple, and I was wearing a light purple Irken uniform. I turned, and saw that not only had Rae transformed me into an Irken, but she had transformed herself into one as well! That just proved how brain-dead she was. Rae now also had light green skin, antenna that bent forward in a zig-zag motion. Her eyes were dark blue, and she was wearing a blue Irken uniform. "Whaaat?" Rae asked. "You couldn't breathe. Now you don't have to!" I gritted my teeth. "I want my lungs back..."  
>"YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM! I'LL NEVER GIVE THEM BACK!" Zim yelled.<br>Rae looked at me. "I think I've got a plan, Rina..." She picked up the remote, and smirked. "Oh, Zim?"  
>"What do you want, stink-human?" Zim asked.<br>"Change me back, change me back, change me back..." I muttered, freaking out. No one listened to me, though.  
>"Okay, first of all, I'm not a human anymore," Rae said.<br>"SILENCE!"  
>"And second..." Rae pressed a button on the remote.<br>There was a bright flash, and I looked away. Suddenly, Zim's scream peirced the air: "NOOOOOOO! CHANGE ME BACK! CHANGE ME BACK!" 


	4. Chapter 4: The Strange Day

Rae chuckled as Zim and I both screamed our heads off, chanting, "!"  
>Zim was having a total meltdown, since Rae had turned him into a human. His and contacts had fused with him, and his skin turned a peach-ish color instead of light green. He had a nose, and ears. He obviously hated this. Probably even more than I hated being an Irken.<br>So basically, we everyone was freaking out except for Dib and Rae. Dib was laughing his head off. "Ha! Now you can't destroy the humans, because you are one!"  
>"SILENCE, DIB-WORM!" Zim screamed.<br>Rae shook her head stubbornly. "You're gonna be a human until you give Rina her lungs back. And Rina, you're going to be an Irken until you get your lungs back, because you obviously can't breathe without them."  
>I crossed my arms. "Zim, give me back my lungs now, or I promise you, I'll behead you and hang your stupid, disgusting head on my wall!" I threatened.<br>"NEVER! And why on Irk would you want my perfect head on your wall?" Zim demanded. I was about to say something, but Rae interrupted. "GIVE HER THE LUNGS, YOU LOW-LIFE!"  
>"NEVER!" He started hyperventilating. "NOT... UNTIL... YOU CHANGE ME... BACK!" Rae sighed. "Fine." She pressed the Irken button on the remote, and fired it at Zim. There was a bright flash, and the next time Rae and I looked, he was an Irken once more. "HA! NOW I'LL NEVER GIVE THEM BACK! FOOLISH HUMANS!"<br>"...But we're not humans right now..." I pointed out. "AND GIVE ME BACK MY LUNGS OR I'LL YANK OUT YOUR BLOODSTREAMS AND USE THEM AS DENTAL FLOSS!" I angrily tackled him.  
>"Zim! Give her the lungs!" Dib said.<br>"FILTH! GET OFF OF ME!" Zim screamed, but I angrily began slamming my fists into his stomach. "GIR! DEFENSIVE MODE!" But GIR wasn't there. Zim stood on his PAK legs, lifting me into the air with him. "MORON! LET GO! I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR LUNGS, JUST LET ME GO!" I did so, falling to the ground and landing on my feet. Zim reluctantly reached into his PAK and pulled out the organ harvester, but instead of giving back my lungs, he smiled evilly. "Maybe I'll steal your squeedlyspooch now!" Rae walked up behind him, and brought a book down on the back of his head. Zim fell to the floor, unconcious.  
>"Creeper," Rae muttered. She poked the organ harvester, and pressed a button. Two lungs came out. Rae bit her tongue, disgusted. "Yeah, that's nasty..." Dib muttered.<p>

I, now a regular human, grinned victoriously as I walked home. Today had been a really weird day. Rae had already gone home (deciding to remain Irken). Honestly, sometimes I wondered if she had a brain at all. Ah, well. At least she had gotten my lungs back. I wondered what Rae's parents would think when she got home. Rae had promised that they wouldn't care, but I wasn't completely sure...  
>I opened the door, met by my mother, who looked slightly worried. "Marina, where have you been?" she asked.<br>"Erm, see, it's a long story. See, there was an alien, and he stole my lungs, and my friend turned herself and I into Irkens so I could breathe, and-" I started, but Mom interrupted.  
>"Oh, you were out playing with your friends."<br>"But Mom, Zim isn't my friend, and we weren't playing! Zim is an alien!"  
>"Of course he is, honey. Dinner's on the table."<br>"But Mooooom..." I whined as I sat down at the table. Mom had set my plate on the table. Spaghetti. That was my favorite meal, but it was hard to enjoy it, knowing my only friend had kinda betrayed the humans by becoming an Irken, and Zim was probably going to kill me or something.

The next day at Skool, Ms. Bitters' class had a substitute. The man had short, dark brown hair and dark brown hair, and his skin was very pale. I took my seat beside Zim, who shot me a glare, and then glared at Dib, who was at the other side of the room. I turned around to look at the seat behind The Letter M, where Rae sat. She hadn't arrived yet.  
>A few minutes later, when she arrived, I facepalmed at her horrible disguise. It was just her polar bear hat with contact lenses that she had stolen from Zim. As she took her seat, a few kids whispered nervously. As much as I wanted to expose the filthy aliens, I couldn't imagine causing Rae's autopsy. I sighed, and made up an excuse. "Rae is normal! She just, uh... caught Zim's skin condition! Yes, that's it..."<br>The kids shrugged, and continued talking about whatever they had been talking about earlier. A short girl with long, brown hair and green eyes kept looking at Zim, and then at Rae. Wasn't her name Mae? Yes, I think it was.  
>She glanced at me, and I looked away. The substitute began class. "Hello, class. My name is Mr... uh... Nobody. Now open your textbooks to page 333."<br>I looked at Dib and Mae, who were looking out the window. GIR was outside, using the hoverjets in his feet to fly around outside. Zim hadn't seemed to notice this yet, and he was doing something to his pencil. I couldn't see what he was doing, but he was definitely doing... something. Mae raised her hand. "Um, Mr. Nobody?"  
>"What?" Mr. Nobody asked. "...Sir, there's a robot outside..."<br>"Nonsense! That's a weather balloon."  
>"That's not a weather balloon," Dib protested. "Sir, can it be proven that it's a weather balloon?"<br>Zim was looking out the window now, mouthing 'Go home!' to GIR. GIR landed, but didn't leave. Mr. Nobody began drawing a chart on the board. When he finished, it was a chart of varius shapes, all labeled weather balloon. "There's your proof," Mr. Nobody said, sitting back down at Ms. Bitters' desk. "That doesn't prove anything..." I muttered under my breath.  
>I glanced back, and Rae was making paper airplanes. Mr. Nobody scowled, and took up her airplanes. "YOU FLUNK FOR THE DAY! And take that ridiculous hat off."<br>Rae's eyes widened. "But... but I need this hat..." she muttered.  
>"SHE'S AN ALIEN!" Dib shouted.<br>"No she's not!" I lied. "Mr. Nobody, see, Rachel has this disease... if she takes the hat off, she'll die. And, uh, th-the disease is very contagious!"  
>"...She has to wear a hat to live?" Mae asked. "That doesn't make any sense..."<br>"BUT SHE'S AN ALIEN!" Dib protested. "ZIM IS TOO! WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"  
>"Because you're crazy?" Zita and Sara offered in unison.<br>"You flunk for the day!" Mr. Nobody told Dib. Dib sighed, and gave up.  
>Mr. Nobody returned his attention to Rae and I. "Very well. But you-" he pointed at me- "have no excuse to wear a hat. Take it off."<br>"...But I like this hat..." I muttered.  
>"NOW!" I reluctantly took off my hat and set it on my desk. Mr. Nobody started to walk back to the desk. "KEEP READING!" he ordered. Suddenly, the door was kicked open, and the police barged in. They ran up to Mr. Nobody and dragged him outside. We all stared in shock, and everyone remained silent. This had been so abrupt...<br>The man screamed and struggled as he was dragged out, but he could not fight off all of the police at once. He was dragged outside to the police car by all the policemen minus one. The remaining one stared at us. "I apologize, children," he said. "That man was not Mr. Nobody. That was a man wanted by the FBI for several murders and robberies. Your new substitute will be here soon."  
>With that, the man departed, and the classroom exploded into chaos. Great. Just when I thought the Skool year couldn't get any weirder.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: CRACK PAIRINGS

As Rae and I walked home from Skool, Mae approached us unexpectadly. "Hey, you guys don't think that Zim is an alien, do you? I mean, I know how that sounds, but..."  
>"Yes! Of course he's an alien!" I exclaimed. "...But Rae isn't. SHE'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. Just with a skin condition. Right, Rae?" I elbowed her gently.<br>Rae looked confused. "What? I'm not normal anymore, I'm an Irken. Remember? Yesterday we went to Zim's house and-"  
>I clasped a hand over her mouth before she could contine. "Uh, she's insane."<br>Mae frowned, unconvined. "Then let her take the hat off."  
>"Can I, Rina? This hat is ITCHY. It was fine with hair, but having it against skin makes it itchy."<br>"NO!" I burst out. "Erm, I mean... she has a disease, remember?"  
>"I do?" Rae asked. "Am I gonna die?"<br>"...YES YOU ARE." "I DON'T WANNA DIE!"  
>"...Right..." Mae muttered. "I'll just be leaving now." She walked ahead of us, and disappeared behind a house, quietly humming the original "Pokemon" theme song.<br>"Let's go to Zim's house," I suggested. "He won't like it, but since when do we care?"  
>Rae shrugged, and began singing the "Pokemon" theme song. "I wanna be the very best like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause!"<br>We walked up to the door, and surprisingly, the lawn gnomes didn't shoot at us. Maybe they were only programmed to do that when Dib was around. They were obviously enemies, so that probably had something to do with it. I knocked on the door, and the robo-parents answered it. "Welcome home, son!" they greeted in unison. But then the "mother" held up a toothbrush. "Now go brush your teeth!" As she attempted to shove the toothbrush down my throat, I ducked and ran inside, Rae following behind me.  
>We looked around the livingroom. GIR and Zim were sitting on the couch, watching TV. They seemed oblivious of the fact that Rae and I had come in. I took a step forward, and Zim's antenna perked up. He turned and spotted us. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT OF MY BASE!" GIR grinned and started waving like a spazz. "Hi!"<br>Rae grinned. "Hello, GIR."  
>I frowned. "Why should we? You may have crucial information that could be useful to-"<br>"Being a human's overrated," Rae interrupted, yawning. "Now will you little girls shut up so I can play leap-frog with GIR?"  
>"ZIIIM IS NO HUMAN GIRL!" Zim screamed angrily.<br>I rolled my eyes. "Is that why you wear a dress?"  
>"That's not a dress!" Zim objected.<br>"Then what is it?" Rae asked. "It's the Irken uniform! Wearing it means I am important to the empire." "Pff, that is so a dress," Rae said, cracking up. We both started laughing.  
>"SILENCE!" Zim yelled, but we continued to laugh.<br>GIR skipped over to me, and randomly gave me a hug. "I wanna go home with yooh!"  
>"Great. We can go get tacos," I said sarcastically, but I was grinning. "Oooh. Zim, it looks like GIR likes her better. Sorry, dude," Rae said. "Nonsense! GIR is my minion! He would never like a FILTHY human!" Zim objected.<br>GIR stuck his tongue out. "But I do like her better! She has tacos!" Zim blinked. "Wh-what?"  
>"He said he likes Rina better!" Rae said.<br>I picked GIR up. "C'mon, let's go to Krazy Taco, okay?" I unzipped my backpack and set him inside. "Yay!" GIR cheered.  
>We walked outside, and Rae began to walk in the direction of her house. "I'll see you guys later! I've gotta work on some homework, and then go to cheerleading practice, and right after that I've got a softball game."<br>"See ya later," I said as I began walking towards my house. "

We'll get my bike so we can get there faster," I told GIR as I snuck into the garage. I grabbed a bright red back, slammed a helmet over my head, and got on. I began pedaling for several minutes until I reached the city. I stopped at a sidewalk to take a break. I could feel GIR poke my back. "We der yet?"  
>"Not... yet..." I panted.<br>"But I see the ponyyy!"  
>"What does that have to do with anything?" I muttered, and then began pedaling again. I could see the Krazy Taco sign, and after a minute or two of pedaling, I dismounted in the parking lot. I went inside, ordered three tacos (two for GIR and one for myself), and then walked outside. I set my backpack on the ground and unzipped it just enough so that I could see GIR and hand him his meal. "Yay!" GIR cheered as he devoured the tacos. I slowly ate mine, while GIR had already eaten his. "Marina?" GIR asked.<br>I took another bite out of my taco. "Yes?"  
>"Can we go back and see masta?"<br>"Zim?"  
>"Yeaaaaah."<br>"...I don't know, GIR... He doesn't like me much."  
>"Yes he does, Susan!"<br>"My name is Marina. And no he doesn't."  
>"You two play together. YOU SUCH GOOD FWIENDS!"<br>"We're not friends, GIR," I said, trying to explain. "See, we hate each other. We're enemies, I guess. Even though I've only known him for two days. But we don't like each other. It's called hate."  
>"I WANNA GO SEE MASTA!" GIR flew out of my backpack, and lifted me up under my arms. He began flying back towards Zim's base (or where he thought it was). "My bike! GIR, NO! You're going the wrong way!" I screamed. "Put me down!"<br>GIR stopped flying, but hovered in place. "Which way?"  
>I reluctantly pointed in the direction of my neighborhood, and he began flying that way.<p>

GIR set me down at the door of Zim's base, and GIR landed inside my backpack. "You gotta say you're sooooorry," GIR whispered.  
>"For what?" I demanded.<br>"For stealing me!" I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Heya!" Rae greeted when I turned around. "Turns out I didn't have a softball game after all! Figured you'd be here."  
>"...Right. Hi, Rae." I knocked on the door.<br>"GO AWAY," replied Zim's muffled voice.  
>I shrugged. "Well, I tried." I began to turn to walk away, but then GIR started whispering again.<br>"Say sooooorry!"  
>"I don't want to. Why should I?"<br>"You stooooole me."  
>"Did not! You came with me willingly!"<br>Rae slapped my arm. "BE THE BIGGER PERSON. Go apologize!"  
>I rubbed my arm where she had slapped me. "But-"<br>"GO."  
>I grudgingly knocked on the door again. "Zim, let me in!"<br>"NO. GO AWAY BEFORE I GET THE GNOMES TO-"  
>I kicked the door open before he could finish threating us. I frowned at what I saw. Zim was on the couch, looking very lazy. He was surrounded by snacks, and was staring at the television screen. This was a completely different Zim from what I had seen two hours ago. This had been a drastic change.<br>"...Zim?" I asked.  
>"I thought I told you to go away!" Zim yelled as he stood up, dusting a few snacks off himself.<br>Rae watched quietly, and GIR acted as if he wasn't in my backpack. He had dragged me here to see stupid Zim and now he wasn't even going to talk to him? That was frustrating.  
>"I didn't want to be here! Your stupid robot wouldn't let me leave," I grumbled.<br>"...GIR?" Zim asked. GIR didn't respond.  
>"Yes, GIR."<br>"Don't talk to me about GIR!"  
>"But he's right here in my backpack!"<br>I began taking my backpack off, but GIR reminded me quietly, "Masta's sad. Say soooorry!" I stopped taking it off. "Erm... Zim?" I muttered.  
>"What do you want, Filthy?"<br>"I-I'm..." I started, and clenched my fists in frustration. I turned to Rae. "I CAN'T DO THIS."  
>Rae pulled a laser from her PAK. "What about now?"<br>I narrowed my eyes. "Curse you..." I muttered, then turned back to Zim, who was looking very confused. "Zim, I'm... I'm s-sorr-... SORRY. NOW WILL YOU TAKE GIR SO I CAN LEAVE?" I shoved the backpack in his face, and then turned to leave. I was almost out the door when I heard a thump, and whirled around to realize that Zim had thrown the backpack at me. "GET OUT!" Zim exclaimed, exasperated.  
>"...Did you even look inside?" I asked.<br>"No. Now leave, HU-MAN!"  
>I picked the backpack up.<br>"Give him a hug," GIR suggested.  
>"No... Never!" I protested.<br>"Yes, hug him!" Rae said.  
>"Who are you talking to?" Zim demanded. "Tell Zim!"<br>"GIR! WE ARE TALKING TO GIR," I told him. "...You're insane."  
>"Said the one who's obsessed with world domination," Rae muttered. She pointed the laser at me again. "Now, hug him!"<br>"I hate you, Rae..." I grumbled. But I didn't want her to kill me just because I didn't hug someone... even if it was a disgusting alien. I quickly walked over to Zim, gave him a quick hug, and then instantly withdrew, biting my tongue in disgust.  
>"GAH! FILTH!" Zim screamed and fell over, pretending to be unconcious.<br>"...You killed him..." GIR muttered.  
>I rolled my eyes. "He's faking it. I can tell." It was pretty obvious, but when you have the IQs of GIR and Rae, it's hard to tell.<br>"He's DEAD!" GIR said.  
>I poked Zim. "Wake up. I know you're not really unconcious."<br>Zim opened one eye. "No." He closed it again.  
>Rae suddenly grinned. "...This is like 'Sleeping Beauty'!" She nudged me. "You know what you've gotta do!"<br>My eyes widened. "WHAT THE HECK! NO!"  
>GIR started giggling and jumped out of my backpack. "Kiss him! Kiiiiiiss ma-sta!"<br>Rae and GIR started chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"  
>"NOOOOO!" I screamed. The very thought made me want to vomit. Zim opened both of his eyes and quickly leapt to his feet. "No! NONONONONONONONO!" Rae frowned. "Aww. He's awake. Nevermind than, I guess." GIR hugged Zim randomly. "GIR?"<br>"Yes, GIR! I told you, moron!" I yelled.  
>"Right. Now get out," Zim growled as he pulled a laser from his PAK. Why was Zim so obsessed with lasers? <p>


	6. Chapter 6: Bipolar Much?

The next day, Skool was... odd. Then again, it was always odd. To sum it up, Ms. Bitters lectured everyone about how love was a useless emotion that was merely a sensation caused by the brain or something like that (I wasn't paying attention), and Rae quickly countered by shouting, "But Ms. Bitters, Zim and Marina love each other! They're meant for each other!" Zim and I automatically objected (because we hate each other), but Ms. Bitters gave us both F's on our test for "being in love and ignoring her lecture." Honestly, I did not like Zim in any way at all whatsoever. Dib was freaking out, objecting with us because "ZIM'S AN ALIEN AND CAN'T FEEL HUMAN EMOTIONS BECAUSE... umm... HE'S AN ALIEN!" Ms. Bitters had given him an F as well, just for being annoying.  
>At lunch, we had green beans and mustard. Kids all around us were eating it like it was perfectly normal. How they managed to eat that slob without getting sick... I guess I will never know. Mae had approached mine and Rae's table and sat down across from us. Rae and I exchanged confused glances, but Rae quickly began conversing with Mae about video games. I sat quietly, poking my green beeans and mustard with a fork. Mae seemed really nice, but there was just something suspicous about her... I couldn't place what it was, though. Throughout the conversation, Rae would occasionally burst out saying something like, "YOU FILTHY HUMANS! MWAHAHAHA!" Then her eyes would twitch a few times, and she returned back to her normal, cheerful state. I didn't think much of it until late that night...<br>I had been asleep in bed, until I heard a thumping. I groggily looked at my window with half-opened eyes. The window was open. Weird...  
>"I could've sworn I shut that," I muttered as I stood and slowly walked over to the window to shut it. As I did, I started turning around. I saw two shadowy figures in the darkness. One tied something around my mouth so I couldn't scream, and the other figure held up what looked like a gun. The figure pulled a trigger, and I prepared to die. Luckily, all it fired was this sticky stuff that hardened on contact with my skin. Like some sort of space rope... Then a thought occured to me: the figures obviously weren't human. One looked like she had horns and pink eyes, while the other had dark blue eyes and antenna... I recognized the second figure: it was Rae. The first figure (that for some reason reminded me of a goat) shoved a sack over my head. I felt myself being dragged, while Rae and the other figure whispered something I couldn't make out. Then I heard Rae laugh maniacally. It was creepy...<br>A few minutes passed, and then the goat person untied the sack, ripped the bandanna off of my mouth, and threw me in some sort of glass box. The alien had grey skin, and horns that curled backwards that were a lighter shade of grey. She wore elbow-length black gloves, black pants, and a dark grey shirt. Across the room, Rae grinned wickedly. "Great work. You're pretty cool for a Vortian, I guess."  
>Vortians, Irkens... What next? "Rae... Why? And who's that?" I demanded, tilting my head in the Vortian's direction.<br>"Oh, her? That's Haze," Rae said. "BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, HUMAN."  
>Haze waved. "Hi! And I am important! I just dragged a human-"<br>"SILENCE!"  
>"...Why am I here?" I asked.<br>"Oh, I brought you here to get my revenge," Rae said. She seemed so... unlike Rae. The Rae I knew was a cheerful idiot. This Rae... this was not the Rae I knew. "Revenge? What'd I do?" I asked, confused.  
>"She claims she was your 'sidekick,'" Haze said.<br>"You never appeciated me," Rae hissed.  
>"Rae, what are you talking about? Of course I appreciated you!" I objected. "YOU'RE LYING! Now... now I'll turn you Irken!"<br>I shook my head. "No. No, no, no. Look, there must be a malfunction in your PAK... that is what controls your personality, right?"  
>"Yes, yes it is. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THAT."<br>"But you just told me..."  
>"...LIES." The Vortian- Haze- interrupted our conversation. "I WAS FROZEN TODAY. Now shut up."<br>"...Why are you here, again?" Rae asked.  
>"Ship crashed," Haze said, shrugging. "Can't leave until it's fixed."<br>"...Right..."  
>"Wait, why am I working for you?" Haze muttered, but Rae had already returned her attention to me. "Fool! Now, I will- wait, wha?" Rae said as the door to my cage opened.<br>Haze had pressed a button, and I could tell she was questioning why she had made the stupid decision of helping Rae. I was confused, but took my chance and ran. After a few minutes of running, I ran inside, locked everything in sight, and collapsed on my bed. I drifted off into sleep...  
>~~ It was dark. The only light was coming from a flickering lamp in the corner of the room. I could hear whispering... As I got closer, I could make out the shadows of Rae and Haze.<br>"Man, what's wrong with me...?" Rae whispered. "Did I seriously kidnap Marina?"  
>"Yeah," Haze said. "Crap, I bet she hate's me now..."<br>"Probably."  
>"I'M GONNA GO APOLOGIZE." With that, Rae skipped out the door.<br>~~ I awoke when I felt someone poking my arm. I sleepily opened one eye, and yelped. "Rae?" My dream had been true?  
>"Rina! I'M SO SORRY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" "Erm... okay?" Bipolar much?<br>Rae tackled me with a hug. "Can't... breathe..."  
>"THEN OPEN YOUR EYES."<br>"Eyes... aren't... lungs!" I gasped.  
>"...Oh. I THOUGHT YOU BREATHED WITH YOUR EYES!" Rae let go, and sat on my bed. I sighed. "I'm going to find a way to fix you..."<br>"...But there's nothing wrong with me..." 


	7. Chapter 7: Rae VS Haze

About a week after Rae was acting freaky, Rae, Haze and I had broken into Zim's base... again. We couldn't help it. It was too much fun to see Zim freaking out. After a few MAZR (Marina and Zim Romance. Ugh.) jokes, Haze and Rae started arguing. "Rae, I think you have a subconscious desire to kiss Zim yourself," Haze said, smirking.  
>Rae slapped Haze's arm. "NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN."<br>"RAZR... Rae and Zim Romance!" Haze snickered.  
>"I'll kill you!" Rae threatened as she tackled Haze. Zim had been injured because I had squirted him with a bottle of POOP BBQ Sauce (why that was in my backpack, I do not know), and was now attempting to drag himself over to the trash can. Why he just didn't use his PAK legs, I have no idea. Zim was such a moron sometimes. He eventually gave up and sat with his back pressed against a wall.<br>Meanwhile, a fight began to take place between Haze and Rae. Haze punched Rae's shoulder. Rae growled and bit Haze's hand. "HEY!" Haze said, and bit Rae's arm with her extra sharp Vortian teeth.  
>"Ow!" Rae yelped. "HAZE, YOU WILL TAKE IT BACK!"<br>I didn't want to be caught in the middle of the fight, so I sat a few inches away from Zim and watched.  
>GIR climbed on Zim's head. "Aww, my master has a boo-boo."<br>"I will never!" Haze objected.  
>"YES. YOU WILL," Rae said firmly, tackling Haze again. Haze fell over, but quickly kicked Rae away. Haze stood and headbutted Rae. Rae flew into a wall from the headbutt.<br>I watched the fight, somewhat amused. Beside me, GIR started licking all the BBQ sauce off of Zim.  
>"Give up yet?" Haze asked.<br>"Takeitback!" Rae hissed.  
>"Or do you not want to except the RAZR?"<br>"THERE IS NO SUCH THING!"  
>"Yes there is."<br>"LIES!" Rae tried to attack Haze, but Haze kicked Rae where her squeedlyspooch was, causing her to fall over. "Oof!"  
>Zim licked a "licking stick" and continued to watch the fight. "Who knew girls could fight..."<br>"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.  
>"Oh, nothing your puny human brain would ever understand."<br>"Ugh... YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Rae announced. Rae tackled Haze yet again, and Haze fell, hitting her head with a loud thump. "OW!" Haze yelped. "...YOU WILL ACCEPT THE RAZR AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!"  
>Zim laughed. "This is highly amusing! But I don't like the Rachel-worm."<br>"Of course you don't," I snickered.  
>Haze punched Rae again, and she flew into a wall... again. "OW!" Rae yelled. "No! RAZR IS A LIE!"<br>Zim was laughing his head off. "This is priceless!" He picked up a camera (that had been convenientally on the floor) and began snapping pictures of the fight.  
>Rae slapped Haze, and Haze backhanded Rae.<br>"GO GOAT LADY!" GIR cheered. "WHOOOOO!"  
>"Is that all you've got?" Rae demanded.<br>"No, I've got more!" Haze said.  
>The door opened, and Dib barged in. "ALIENS- wait, fighting?" He turned to Zim. "What's going on?"<br>Zim took more pictures. "Girls fighting over me."  
>"What the heck?" I muttered.<br>"WHAT?" Rae screamed. "NO! SHUT UP, ZIM!" She then punched Haze in the face, who got a black eye. Haze kicked Rae in the face, and she flew back and also got a black eye.  
>"I never thought I'd see this day..." Dib muttered. I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about, but I didn't really care.<br>"That is what you're fighting about, isn't it?" Zim asked. "RAZR and MAZR?"  
>"NO! Hey, I'm not even fighting!" I protested.<br>"But you're beside me," Zim pointed out.  
>"ACK!" I scooted away.<br>"RAZR IS A MYTH!" Rae screamed.  
>"Yeah?" Haze asked, smirking.<br>"Pff," Zim muttered as he took even more pictures. "Girls can't stay away from me."  
>Rae slapepd Haze again."I WILL KILL YOU, ZIM! RIGHT AFTER I'M FINISHED WITH THIS PATHETIC GOAT!"<br>"I AM NOT A GOAT!" Haze hissed, as she kneed Rae.  
>"OUCH. Yes you are, you lying goat!"<br>Dib sat down in between Zim and I, watching with an amused expression. Zim glared at Dib and scooted away. "I don't like you, Dib-stink."  
>"Hey, I don't like you either!" Dib said as he withdrew a video camera and recorded the fight.<br>"...Then why are you in my base, sitting beside me?" Zim scooted farther away.  
>"Because this is universally fun to watch?"<br>"I'M A VORTIAN!" Haze objected. "At least call me a goat person!"  
>"Blarg, I END THIS!" Rae announced as she reached into her PAK and withdrew a laser gun. She aimed it at Haze.<br>I hadn't noticed it before, but Haze had an Irken PAK. I wasn't sure of the reason, however. Haze stood on her spider legs and slashed the laser gun out of Rae's hand. She then slashed at Rae, causing her to fall over. "Give up, already!"  
>"Never!" Rae said. "RAZR IS A LIE."<br>"RAZR is so real."  
>"No!"<br>"No it's not," Zim said.  
>"Zim, you don't get a say in this!" Haze said.<br>Zim ignored Haze and glanced at Dib's camera. "You're going to give that to that stupid 'Idiotic Mysteries' show, aren't you?"  
>"It's 'Mysterious Mysteries,'" Dib corrected. "And yes, yes I am." Zim blasted the camera with a laser. "Now you're not."<br>"NOT COOL!" Dib lunged at Zim, pinning him to the floor.  
>"GET OFF OF ME, DIB-SMELL!" Zim kicked Dib in the stomach.<br>"Oof!" Dib got off and kicked Zim's squeedlyspooch.  
>Haze skittered around on her spider legs, trying to blast Rae with a laser. Rae jumped out of the way just in time, and fell to the floor in the process. She lay on the floor, panting with exhaustion. Haze retracted her spider legs and hovered above Rae, also panting. "Give... up... yet?"<br>"...Fine... you win..." Rae grumbled. I wouldn't say she was exactly admitting to liking Zim, but she just didn't want to fight anymore.  
>"VICTORY!" Haze said triumphantly.<br>Rae put her hand over her black eye. "Ow..."  
>"...Man, I just realized that was pointless."<br>"What?"  
>"Yeah. It was pointless."<br>"How?"  
>"Aww. They stopped fighting," Dib muttered.<br>Zim frowned, and turned his attention to Haze. "How could fighting over me be pointless?"  
>"Well..." Haze said. "Let's see... Let us weigh the outcome." She turned to Rae. "We've both got black eyes, and it was all to prove that RAZR was a reality."<br>"...And how do you feel about this, Zim?" I asked.  
>"Pretty good," Zim replied.<br>Rae narrowed her eyes. "WHAT? YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT RAZR?"  
>Haze burst out in laughter. "I KNEW IT!"<br>"No," Zim said. "I meant that I felt good about watching you guys fight and not doing anything about it. It was very amusing! You two are make a wonderful form of entertainment."  
>"But that's not what I asked!" Rae pointed out.<br>"I don't pay attention to stupid questions." This answer caused Rae to facepalm.  
>"...Now what?" Haze asked.<br>"GAH. I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS," I said.  
>"Now, back to what I was doing!" Zim said, standing on his spider legs and aiming his laser at Dib's head.<br>"...RAZR still isn't real..." Rae muttered. 


	8. Chapter 8: Double Personalities

Rae had finally lost it. She was a psycho. That was what I had decided, at least. She had tried to kidnap me at least seven times now in attempt to either kill me or force me to become an Irken, afterwards she would argue with herself but eventually always released me. It was a very odd sight, but it was somewhat amusing as well.

I believed the problem had something to do with her PAK. If Dib was correct, Irken personalities were downloaded into their PAKs (Dib had muttered something like that once). Rae originally never had a PAK, therefore she had her own personality- one that wasn't downloaded, just a natural personality. Then she had converted into an Irken, automatically having a PAK. Her PAK would obviously have a downloaded personality... They were likely two different personalities. Two personalities with one life-form... That was the problem. Something had to be done about this, or Rae would... I dunno. She would still be Rae, but weirder. A lot weirder. I couldn't explain it.

Zim would know something about this. He had been an Irken his entire life... however long that was. Irken years were probably much longer than human years, so I was guessing he was pretty old compared to us. The point was that he knew stuff like that. I knew he wouldn't just tell us. It was never that simple. I would have to sneak inside while Zim was away. Which is exactly what I did. -  
>I sat in Ms. Bitters' classroom, staring at the clock. The school day seemed to grow longer with every day I spent there. I wasn't sure why, though. Perhaps I just grew bored easily.<p>

Finally, after what seemed like another hour of waiting (although it was actually only a minute), the bell rang.  
>"...and that's why you should never attempt to blow up the sun. Now get out."<br>Everyone rushed out of the classroom. As Zim began to stand up, Ms. Bitters stopped him. "Zim, you have detention. Stay here."  
>Zim grumbled something and then sat down, glaring at Ms. Bitters.<p>

Good. Now I would have some time. I swiftly walked outside, pushing the main doors of the school open. I broke into a run, scampering past other kids who shot me annoyed glances as I rushed past. I ignored them and kept running. -  
>I knocked on the house of Zim's door, completely sure that GIR would open it. I was right. He stared up at me, wearing his doggy suit. "INTRUDER."<br>"No, I'm your friend," I told him.  
>His tone turned less serious. "Oh, okay den! Come on in!"<br>I did so, almost afraid I would step on the little guy. Sure,

Even though GIR was Zim's annoying evil minion, he was still somewhat adorable. Besides, most of the time he did the exact opposite of what his master said.  
>"Zim's at detention," I explained. "What'd he do?" GIR asked.<br>"Let's see...He stabbed Dib with a pencil, he back-talked the teacher, he blew up a toilet, he didn't pay attention in class, and he set a chair on fire. Detention lasts until 5:30." I said. I walked over to the toilet and flushed myself down, not completely sure where I was going to arrive. Some random lab, no doubt, though.

GIR jumped onto my shoulders before they had gone down. Great! Maybe he knew where I could find what I was looking for.  
>The elevator stopped on what it said was floor "L7." Seven was a lucky number; maybe I would be lucky today.<br>GIR and I exited the elevator, taking a step into the laboratory.

It was filled with what looked like hundreds of unfinished experiments. I gently lifted GIR up and set him on the floor. "Could you direct me towards general PAK information?" I asked.  
>GIR thought for a moment. "It's that way!" He pointed to the right.<br>I nodded. "Thank you!" I dashed in the direction he told me to go.

I had stopped running a mile ago, every experiment seeming to catch my eye. I eventually stopped in front of a door. There was a sign on the door, reading, 'Flesh Eating Meat Monsters.' That seemed slightly suspicious...  
>"Hmm" I guess I'll have to go that way, then." I muttered dubiously. I opened the door, and watched the monsters rattle their cages. They were just giant meats, with eyes and mouths filled with rows and rows of sharp teeth. I stared at them, frozen. My eyes were wide with fear and amazement. Had Zim done this?<p>

My heart skipped a beat as I felt something slightly slimy touch my shoulder. I slowly turned my head, only to be met with a giant ham demon. It roared, and tried to bite me. I screamed and dove out of the way, landing on my stomach. The demon lurched forward, and I thought this would be the end. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing to be eaten.

Suddenly, an Irken appeared in the doorway. He had light green skin, like other Irkens. His eyes were a slightly lighter shade of blue than Rae's, and his shirt was of the same color. He wore a standard Irken uniform, despite the color difference. He seemed to be holding an opened tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a large spoon.

He dug the spoon into the ice cream, and flung the scoop at the monster. The ice cream hit the ham demon, and it hissed. It's skin; or meat or whatever seemed to begin to melt at the ice cream's touch. "Eat that!" the Irken cried as he flung more ice cream. The demon was soon no more.

I stood, eyeing the Irken suspiciously. "Why did you save me?"  
>The Irken stared at me with an an emotionless expression. "Does it matter?"<br>"I guess not."  
>"My name is Zashko." He tapped the top of his left glove, and a secret compartment seemed to open. He hit a button, and disappeared. The air rippled where he had once stood. I assumed that the button he had pressed caused him to teleport. "My name is Zashko." The words echoed in my mind. Why had he told me that? I shook my questions away and trekked forward.<p>

A banana king stood in front of me. Actually, he looked suspiciously like a man in a banana suit, but I didn't question that. A crown was placed on his head. "Um, hi," I said. "You won't try to kill me, will you?"  
>"Of course not!" the king cried. "I am the banana king! I RULE ALL BANANAS! Why would I want anything to do with a human?"<br>"Alright, good," I muttered. "But why are you in here? In Zim's lab, I mean."  
>"He promised me bananas."<br>"Er...right. Could you direct me in the direction of the...what would it be called... the room with information on PAKs and such?"  
>"Oh, that? That stuff is over there, through the laser weasels." He pointed to the left, and a sign labeled 'laser weasels' caught my attention. So this... banana guy wasn't completely insane after all.<br>"Thanks," I said and began to walk that way.

As soon as I entered the room with the laser weasels, I was automatically attacked. None of the weasels were in cages- they were just running around everywhere. They were blasting everything, but the room appeared to be perfectly fine. I, however, was not fine as they blasted at me, leaving singe marks. I yelped as the lasers burned my skin, but they didn't hurt much more than Zim's gnomes' lasers, fortunately.

Unfortunately, they blasted continuously, leaving no chance for me to escape. I couldn't get away. The weasels were swarming me. I never expected them to be so dangerous. "H-help!" I cried, diving under a table in attempt to find safety. Tables apparently weren ?t safe enough, for they swarmed around me once more. None of them were blasting, though. They had abruptly stopped. Why?

They were no longer staring at me anymore, but now they were staring in the opposite direction. I couldn't see what they were looking at, but I did hear a voice. "Back off!" And then another said, "This is weird."  
>The first voice was Rae. I knew Rae's voice anywhere. But the second... was that...No, it couldn't be.<p>

I stood up to see while the weasels were distracted, and I found that I had been right: the second voice had been Mae. What was she doing down here? I turned my attention to Rae, who was holding up a laser. The weasels were staring at it, seemingly interested. Apparently all alien life-forms were obsessed with lasers. I didn't get it.

Rae tossed Mae the laser. "Keep them distracted," she muttered.  
>"Okay? What a weird zoo..." Mae said as she put her finger on the trigger. Zoo? Did she seriously think that? Rae walked over to me and dragged me into the next room. "Why are you here?"<br>"Why are you here?" I asked.  
>"Don't use your stupid Chinese mind games on me, Marina!"<br>"...Huh?"  
>"Just tell me why you're here."<p>

I hesitated. I wasn't sure what she would think if I told her the truth, that I was in Zim's base to help change her personality on her PAK so it made her how she used to be instead of having double personalities. She was so stubborn. She wouldn't like it. Then again, Rae wouldn't like it if I lied either.

'Guess I'm stuck with the truth...' I thought. I was a horrible liar anyway, which sucked. She'd know that I was lying. Besides, if I did lie, then she would just bother me until I told her the truth. Blah.

"You came to see Zim, didn't you?" Rae asked, a grin spreading across her face. "Aww, how sweet!"  
>"NO!" I denied. "N-NO, I DIDN'T" Why wouldn't she just shut up about that? I had no feelings for Zim at all, and I was pretty sure Zim hated my guts.<p>

"Quick to deny, Marina? Interesting..." Rae said.  
>"I don't like Zim!" I shouted.<br>Rae's grin grew wider. "That's right, you don't like him. You love him!"  
>I could feel my face turn bright red. None of that was true! It was just so embarrassing that anyone would think that!<p>

I clenched my fists angrily. "No. Just no."  
>"Mm-hm. Sure."<br>"Ya wanna know why I'm here? I'm here to help you, not spend my time with some green freak!"  
>Rae looked offended. "I'm not a green freak ?"<br>I facepalmed. "Not you! Zim!"  
>"How are you trying to help me?" she asked.<br>"Your PAK. It's malfunctioning, messing with your personality," I said. "I'm trying to fix it."  
>"There's nothing wrong with my PAK!" Rae protested.<br>"That's what you think."  
>"Ma-ree-na! There's nothing wrong! Knock it off and go home."<p>

I ignored her, taking a look around the room. I realized that the room that Rae had dragged me into was-  
>"Oh, hey!" I gasped."This is the room! This is where I've been trying to go!" There were files full of important documents organized on shelves stacked to the ceiling. The room was small, but there were so many files,<br>and none were organized. They were sloppy, and out of place.

"Marina! Are you even listening to me?" Rae demanded. I ignored her, taking a few steps towards the files. How was I going to find the one I was looking for? "Why are aliens so messy..." I muttered under my breath.  
>Rae narrowed her eyes. "I heard that! I'm not messy!"<br>"That's different. You used to be human," I replied, digging through several important looking documents.

After digging around for several minutes, I found one labeled 'Do Not Touch' in red letters. I figured that must have been important, so I grabbed it and started running. Rae followed me, growling. "I don't need help!"  
>"I don't care!" I was still sprinting a few feet ahead of her, when I tripped" over a leg. I toppled over, faceplanting into something sticky on the floor.<p>

"Ow..." I muttered, looking up. "THERE YOU ARE, YOU PATHETIC HUMANS!" a voice boomed. Oh, goodie. Zim had gotten out of detention. He had most likely run away. I looked up to see, and Mae was hovering over me. "Hey, Marina. I found your boyfriend."  
>"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND," I hissed.<br>"So he ?s your boy toy?" Rae asked, smirking.

"LIES. Zim loves NO ONE! No one but ZIM do I love!" Zim objected, storming over to us.  
>I would have facepalmed, but I was stuck to the ground. There was some sort of blue alien goop that I had fallen into, and it seemed impossible to get up. "Shut up! I hate that green freak!"<p>

The alien who had helped me earlier- Zashko, I think was his name- appeared behind Zim. He literally appeared out of nowhere. "Human? I thought you were a platypus..." he muttered, looking down at me suspiciously. "No, I'm a human," I said, frowning. "Hey, Zim, can you just, like, let me off with a warning?"

Zim narrowed his eyes. "No." He pressed the top circle on his PAK, which was apparently a button, and a small compartment opened up. He reached in, pulling out a strange device. "Organs would be nice," he said. "More organs means more human. Your organs will be nice." A wicked grin spread on his face as a horrified expression appeared on mine. I realized what he had in his hands: an organ harvester.

"Pheh," Zashko said. "Don't steal her organs, Zim. She could be useful." He reached down, grabbing my shoulders and yanking me upright with surprising strength. "How could a pathetic HYOOMAN be useful?" Zim wondered, frowning.  
>"Aren't you human, Zim?" Mae asked, frowning. "Ehh? YES! OF COURSE IT IS, FILTHY."<br>"Oh. Okay then."  
>"Now...GET OUT OF MY BASE."<p>

Zim seemed to have forgotten about stealing my organs as he was yelling at Mae, so Rae and I began creeping towards the door. We gestured for Rae to follow. She looked at us like we were morons for a second before she finally realized what was going on, and started shuffling in our direction.

Zim looked like he was about to chase after us, but Zashko began distracting him. "Hey, ah, Zim?"  
>Zim turned to face him. "What?"<br>"I hear you've got a new weapon to take over Earth. Think you could tell me about that?" Zim brightened up. "YES! My device is so ingenious that you will BOW DOWN to my brain meats!" He picked up a notebook filled with schematics, flipping to a page with a complicated design and shoving the page in Zashko's face.

Meanwhile, Mae, Rae and I all ran into the elevator. "I don't get it," Mae was saying. "So Zim is the owner of the zoo?"  
>"Umm...yes." I said.<br>At the same time, Rae was saying, "Nope! Zim's an ali-"  
>I clasped my hand over her mouth before she could say 'alien.' "He's a zookeeper! He travels around the world and collects exotic animals!"<p>

Rae opened her mouth, about to protest, but I shot her a mean look, and she decided otherwise, closing her mouth.  
>"Ohhh...That makes sense," Mae said.<br>"Yeah..." Rae muttered. "Mm-hm. But Zim is mean. He...uh...doesn't like people down there," I lied.  
>"Why not?" Mae asked.<br>"He's afraid people will make fun of his green skin," Rae lied, using her somewhat amazing lying abilities. "My poor, paranoid, fellow green one."  
>Rae was a much better liar than I was. I suspected she had more experience. I wasn't used to lying. Actually, I had rarely ever lied before Rae became Irken. But now I had to lie, for her sake.<p>

"Oh..." Mae said. We were now outside of Zim's base, walking along the sidewalk. She looked up at one of the houses, which I suspected was her own. It was a large, light blue house with a garden in the front yard with various flowers planted everywhere. "Better get going. My parents will be waiting." She walked away, humming a theme song to a TV show that sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite remember what it was. Rae and I walked home as well, watching the sun set. 


End file.
